August 10, 2010

From Chase’s FOHBOH.com Blog: 

You have heard of Anthony Bourdain, he of NYC/chefdom/ Travel/Discovery Channel/ Author/Back of the house buccaneer/ fabulous’ness & fame/– He also travels around and does a live stand up show. Recently, I read that he was coming to my Mile High City.

Now, for two months before this I have I emailed the T/D network “contact us department” naively thinking they would pass me along to Mr. Bourdain as I have a need to speak with him, but no dice! You see, I’m questing after a cover quote for my soon to be published book for hospitality leaders and managers.

I’m trying to get to him and out of the blue he shows up on my doorstep – I think about  the serendipity involved and I tell Mrs. LeBlanc, “We have to get tickets!” At this point, I have no idea how seeing him will help my cause but the sheer force of this “co-wink-i-dink” compels me. Man O’ Man, we just gotta go!

That week I happen to see one of Mr. Bourdain’s TV episodes on Montana, he drools over Jim Harrison who wrote Legends of the Fall, who is now Tony’s… (Can I call him that?) new BFF. Wait a darn minute, I have a pristine copy of 1978 Esquire Magazine, which L.O.T.F. first appeared in, as a novella, that I kept for thirty years, because I liked that story.

A week before the show the daily newspaper says AB takes questions after his show. Now, I have a plan. I will place a formal letter, politely requesting a cover blurb inside the Esquire magazine and offer this “Trojan Horse” of a gift to his royal bad-boy/ness, in gratitude for gracing Denver with his presence.  (Really, just a quick note of inquiry – would he read/skim my book and state that my book does not “much suck or sucks very little”, in keeping with his rough edged image and not risking his literary reputation) -

Streaming fans filled the Temple Buell Theater, distinctly resembling a Star Trek convention for hospitality workers. He runs through his shtick, poignant musings about the state of this and that, world-travelogue, out-takes on “the life”, with periodic displays of his switchblade quick wit. All this was unfolding in front of me and all I can think about is… will he do it? Will he subject himself to the potentially cretinous questions that could swallow him whole, much like the “bubble machine” surprises the “stupored” tourists in a Cancun disco?

Then he announces that he will take any and all comers! I stride up to the microphone, flanked by tattooed Boh-tribe members and foodie cultists. I wait my turn, as my stomach flits and my saliva splits. My time comes… on the fly, I stammer through a story about seeing the Montana show the week I cleaned out good ol’ Mom’s basement, and by chance would he take a gift from a stranger? BooYa! Tony says, “You bet I’ll take that…”  The audience laughs… blind to the success of my mission. And somewhere an old East German-cold-war-ex-spy hoisted their glass of schnapps and said “Vell don LeBlanc’ski!”

Haven’t Heard A Thing Since…

But I will always have my “shoot for the moon” moment with Anthony Bourdain. 

(Mr. Bourdain, if you happen to be lurking on FohBoh, I still have plenty of 1970’s iconography and FYI –

Ken Blanchard dug my book – if that helps sway you.)

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August 5, 2010

Bourdain’s Medium Raw Essay Contest

Read my Medium Raw challenge essay: Cooking Well Means Everything and Nothing

Cooking Food Well Means Everything and Nothing

Cooking food well is but another of life’s equal but opposite gravitational pulls. As with so much in life, cooking well means everything and nothing.  

Cooking well holds no allegiance to borders or boundaries and is a language unto itself. A well cooked meal can be deftly managed or thuggishly muscled, either path resulting in an original offering of scrumptiousness. If you can cook well, folks from Nebraska to Norway might be singing your praises, and it doesn’t matter if you are a one-trick-meat-sauce-pony or the thickly accented expert relegated to huckstering pans. From the beginning there has been one unflagging goal, whether by happy accident or professional process, when one cooks well the sum of the ingredients, recipe, technique and effort should always be greater than the gathering of fire, metal, ounces and pounds.

If others consider you skeevy, creepy or mean, it all goes out the window when you can cook well, because cooking well scores high on lists made by list-makers. Through this skill-set alone, you can almost mollify the adolescent plague of self esteem bloodletting, lay a sweaty hand on the tiller and find yourself a place in the world. Doors of opportunity will open if you show-off for family and friends or even better, a wide circle of acquaintances and strangers. If talent, skill and will converge, with minimal derailments wrought by temptation, you might ascend to the designation of mastercraftperson or even be anointed as an artisan. If you are lucky or wise you might parlay your experiences into fame, fortune and a lasting legacy.

Cooking well is a means to quench a hunger and thirst that extends far beyond food and drink, feeding the human desire for exploration, socialization, and celebration. Cooking well can be an honest day/night of work, a neighborly gesture, a familial obligation, a prelude to romance, or merely servicing a jonzin’ hoard of foodies.

However, cooking well means nothing to someone on the brink of starvation – cat food, fast food, and leather shoelaces might all look pretty tasty. Cooking well means nothing to the praying parents of an ill child or to the partner of a service person who has just fallen for freedom in some far away land.

Cooking well is unnecessary when one is anticipating a bite fresh from nature’s bounty – - a tomato from the vine, a peach from the tree and honey from the comb. And then there are the moments that transcend the preparation, moments that render all thoughts of cooking results irrelevant – The last time Grandma made stale bread French toast for you, Dad’s burnt BBQ chicken when Dads not around anymore, and Mom’s greasy meatloaf that you’d trade almost anything for, just to have one more chance to sit down and eat it with her.

Cooking well has skilled players, fans, vested interests and paying customers. It is a conduit to many things real and fanciful. Like all contact sports, it means everything and nothing.

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